


I Don't Hate You

by InterNutter



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Arrives Fifteen Minutes Late to the Reconciliation Fic With Starbucks, Everyone's Writing One I Guess, Gen, My Take On The Thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 21:03:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13373028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InterNutter/pseuds/InterNutter
Summary: There's lingering animosity between Lucretia and Taako. But not for the reasons that everyone thinks. Lup locks the two of them in a magic closet until they hash it out.





	I Don't Hate You

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The TAZ balance arc and cannon belongs to the McElroys. I just mess around with it.

Taako excelled at misdirection. At delay, denial, and distraction. And, if cornered, he could always cast Blink and decamp. Therefore, it was no surprise that he didn’t want to embrace Lucretia at the beginning of the Hunger War. Nor was it that shocking that he didn’t want to do so afterwards.

He noped out of her apologies for  _ months. _ Years. He almost made it to two decades before Lup had enough of his shit. She dropped her brother and her ship-sister into an inescapable environment with all the comforts they could want and a mandatory two-hour-a-day encapsulation in close quarters so that they  _ had _ to work something out.

Taako didn’t even last a day.

He retreated from the enclosing walls, yelling at the ceiling. “NOT FUNNY!”

Lucretia was still in the lounge chair she’d started in, staring at the floor in abject remorse.

“Now you two get to chat for a couple of hours,” said Lup’s voice. “Work out your goddamn shit, Taako.”

“Lulu… Uh-uh!”

“...and don’t try to argue with me, this is a pre-recorded message.”

Taako flumped into his lounge chair with a, “Fuck you, Lup.”

“I love you too, bro-bro,” said her voice.

Taako was a picture of barely restrained frustration and anger. His golden hair was frizzed to the point of almost becoming a cloud. His ears were lost in there, but Lucretia was certain that they were heavily down and back. His arms were folded, his legs were crossed, and he was in a sour slouch.

“Taako…” Lucretia began. “I’m sorry I had to do that to you. I couldn’t bear to watch everyone falling apart without her. I thought I was being kind. If you couldn’t remember, then it couldn’t hurt y--”

“SHUT UP! SHUT. UP. Shut up, shut up, shut  _ up! _ Just. Shut it. No. You’re not allowed to say that shit.”

“Taako… I did what I thought was best.”

The rage and the fury bled out of him. Taako slumped. “I know.”

“I remember what happened on id-- Wait. What?”

“I  _ know. _ I know all about it.”

Lucretia stared. “What?”

“I know why you did it. The logic was impeccable. If I was in your boring Mary Janes, I’d have done  _ exactly _ the same thing. I  _ get _ it. I know why you did it. Stop explaining.”

“Then… Then why do you hate me?” she asked.

A deep breath. A sigh. “I never hated you, Luce. Not for an instant.”

“But--”

“I  _ can’t _ hate you. We both remember Idiot World. We both remember how deep down I went when…” words failed him. Lup was alive, now. Lup had her body. She had a beautiful wedding. She had a place. She had a job. She had everything she deserved. But Taako still remembered the first time he’d watched her die. “Of course making me forget was a mercy. Of fucking  _ course _ it was.”

“Then. Why the animosity?”

“Twelve years. For twelve years I was a different person. There was a hole inside me that I didn’t even know was there. There was a missing piece. I- I was never made to be  _ lonely, _ Luce. I threw myself at anyone who would take me. I couldn’t trust. I couldn’t accept any kind of kindness. I was cold and hollow and  _ empty. _ ”

“I’m sor--”

“Save it.” Taako took a deep breath. Reached for a ‘lion pipe that was no longer there. He hadn’t smoked since Lup was back in the flesh. “I don’t hate you, Luce. I never hated you.”

Lucretia waited. This was one of the times when it paid to be quiet and let Taako take things at his own pace.

“I can’t hate you,” he said.

Lucretia waited. Taako took his time extracting his bombs.

“I hate who I was because of what you did.”

Lucretia nodded. That was it. “That version of you  _ was _ an immense asshole,” she said. “And I still loved him.”

Taako laughed. “More fool you. He was a shell. A cold, broken, hollow, heartless shell. And if she wasn’t in the Umbrastaff the whole time… you’d have made me  _ afraid _ of her.”

“Oh, I’d have changed my tune five seconds after you’d have brought her in.” Lucretia took her turn to sigh. “To be honest… I have no idea what I’d have done if Barry and Lup had turned up early in the game.”

“Yeah, planning ain’t your strong suit,” agreed Taako. “Luce… I love you. I do. But. I… don’t know… how to  _ deal… _ with that version of me. I don’t know how to feel about the Empty Taako that knocked around Faerun for twelve years and never had a sister and was incapable of trusting anyone. Luce… I have nightmares about waking up like that again.”

“I didn’t want to hurt you like that,” she said.

“I know,” said Taako. “Rock. Hard place. We… we were all falling apart, watching the Relic Wars. Making the world forget about them must have seemed like a stroke of fucking genius.”

“Not genius,” said Lucretia. “Desperation. I’d have done anything to stop the pain you were all going through. So… I took it on myself. Did it alone. Or… I tried. God, how I tried. I just wanted you all to be safe, and--”

“And you suck at planning,” said Taako. He stood. Took her hands and helped her up. “I get it. I probably wouldn’t have done much better if it was me in your place.”

“That. Does not help.”

“Yeah. I know. Sucks, doesn’t it?”

Lucretia found a laugh bubbling out of her. She fell into Taako’s arms and relished his slow and reluctant embrace. “I still love you, Taako. Even the asshole version.”

“...wish I did,” sighed Taako. “I love you too.”

The spell encapsulating them broke, revealing Lup working on a  _ Welcome Back _ banner. “Jeezy Creezy, that was fucking fast. I didn’t even finish baking the cake.”

“There you go, I saved the world again,” said Taako. “I’ll make a real cake. You can throw your baked doorstop at the travelling salesman.”

And that was that. The entire crew was a family again. A broken bunch of oddballs who’d known each other for a hundred years, and were growing to know each other all over again.

END!


End file.
